Will I ever learn????

Oiy Vey!! Such a stupid cycle I do, over & over & over again! Does anyone else do the same? It's like this...things are fairly good at home, my focus is Christ, house is fairly tidy cause I'm making something of an effort, I'm into the Word & worshipping daily, I'm not over FaceBooking....then I get comfortable, hey its all good, I'm happy let's just relax - those aren't my actual words but that sure becomes my attitude...life gets busy as usual, devotions are forgotten, my focus slips to the business around me, we're away & so miss church...a week goes by & I'm getting grouchier by the hour, depressing-discouraging-frustrating-angry thoughts abound!...another few days go by & I FINALLY realize what the problem is!! Duh! So I repent & refocus...so on & so forth.
When I read over all that it just seems really silly! How can I possibly make the same mistakes over & over & OVER again? Arg! Well, apparently I'm not alone.

1 Peter 5:7-9 ...casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

So here I am again, making a stand & choosing to be vigilant...choosing to not be stubborn like a donkey!!

Psalm 32:1-11
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered.
² Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit.

³ When I kept silent, my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
⁴ For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah
⁵ I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

⁶ For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You
In a time when You may be found;
Surely in a flood of great waters
They shall not come near him.
⁷ You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
⁹ Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,Else they will not come near you.

¹⁰ Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.
¹¹ Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous;
And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

God has given me &/or made available the tools etc that I need. Whether I choose to pick them up & use them on a daily basis is up to me. I have free will & He won't make me follow Him. He's not forcing me, but He IS waiting for me, cheering for me, urging me, encouraging me, working on my behalf, blessing me, preserving me, teaching me......

pic from http://uniqueboutiquenz.blogspot.com/2010/07/well-we-have-moved-i-have-gone-from.html

No Sympathy for Esau

Because I started the read-thru-the-Bible-in-a-year plan almost 2 weeks into January I'm still playing catch-up & right now I'm cramming Genesis. I love a good historical novel & so I am thoroughly enjoying Genesis, although pls don't quiz me on who begat whom! Today I read about Esau & Jacob, a story I have heard many times over but today I had an aha moment! (you know the story about how Esau comes in famished hunting & wants some of Jacob's tasty stew. Jacob offers to trade the stew for the birthright & Esau agrees) The study note in my Bible says "No Sympathy for Esau. Esau's birthright, which he sold for a meal, was his inheritance as the firstborn son. He stood to be head of a large extended family and it's property. Though his brother Jacob took advantage of him, the Bible gives Esau little sympathy for his role as victim. He "despised his birthright" (25:34) by letting his hunger overwhelm his concern for things of lasting value. Because of this, he was later labeled "godless" (Heb 12:16)".  I wasn't completely sure what "scorned his birthright" meant so I read that same verse in the MSG & AMP versions. The MSG says "...That's how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn." & the AMP says "...Thus Esau scorned his birthright as beneath his notice." Wow, how many times have I done this? I (we) have SO many blessings, rights & privileges as God's children...I don't want to continue shrugging them off!  This aha'd to me not just about my relationship with Christ but also with my home & family. I can choose to do my best in God's strength to keep a tidy home so it will be a haven for my family OR I can choose to allow feelings of being overwhelmed & "accept defeat". Also, I can choose to keep my temper, change my own attitude & build close relationships with my kids OR I can choose to be that yelling, frustrated hag I despise. Hmmm, what a choice! Unlike Esau, I desire to make the correct choice, do the work (in God's strength & joy) & reap even more of God's blessing.

pic from: http://www.cookingnook.com/beef-stew-recipe.html

New Year Resolutions (just a tad late!)



My new Amplified Bible by Joyce Meyers
that will be my partner this year!!

 Alright, so last week I talked about my long list of unrealistic expectations for this year & that I needed to write a realistic list with a plan of action. I gave myself til this past Friday to have it posted...well, it really was done...but just in my head! So here I am posting "the list". While I was thinking about what was realistic, what was ridicuclous & how to even pare it all down, I re-read the paragraph at the top of my blog & realized 1/2 of my work was already done! This is what my blog is all about! It says "See, this is my creative way of holding myself accountable...as I continue to learn & grow in God, raise 4 happy kids with my hubby & strive to bring some lasting organization to our chaotic house!" So that gives me this list:

1. learn & grown in God
2. raise 4 happy kids
3. bring lasting organization to our home

Short, sweet & simple. Now for the action plan!!

1. learn & grow in God - a GF & I have committed to a read-thru-the-Bible-in-a-year-plan. We'll be encouraging & holding each other accountable. This past year God's been showing me just how important time spent JUST with Him EVERY day really is!! I see a huge difference in my attitude, drive & actions when I'm daily focusing on Him. Right now with the napping schedule as it is, most days DS#2 is out for an hour in the late morning & my DD#2 will play by herself giving me a bit of time to sit down with a coffee, my Bible & a devotional type book. Plus, in early Feb I'll be attending a Prayer Ministry Training Day. While I'm not certain that I'm called to pray as part of a ministry team, I am SO excited about learning to pray for others & how to pray more effectively.
2. raise 4 happy kids - build RELATIONSHIPS with my kids & pray in specifics for each of them. During the two 10 wk periods that my DH was away at school, our wonderful Pastor came for several lunch visits to make sure I wasn't going crazy! He knows my personality is very anal, specific, perfectionistic & that I've had struggles with depression. I've shared with him how much I long to not be continually frustrated with & yelling at my kids. One major point he made was - put building a solid relationship with each child before the rules. My two fav parenting books also carry that same message - screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel & Grace Based Parenting by Dr Tim Kimmel. Parenting is 1st about the parent - 1st examine & change your own habits, attitudes & outlook. Kids learn by example, so what example are you setting?? (ouch!) The 2nd part of the action plan is praying for each of my kids. That seems a little obvious but its easy to pray very general prayers & yet I know that God wants to do a whole lot more than generally blessing my kids!!!
3. bring lasting organization to our home - participate in the 52 Weeks To An Organized Home Challenge. This Challenge really seems made just for me! I tried a shorter but way more intensive challenge last year & it bombed! I needed a specific yet flexible plan. Having 4 kids makes an awfully busy household, plus there'll be another 10 wks in the summer when DH is away, so I definitely need the whole week to get an assignment done! My DH is more than supportive on this as he is just as sick of the clutter & mess as I, so we are doing this ALL together.